Man’s Intrinsic Nature: Finding Happiness
It would seem that our main thrust in life is finding happiness. Happiness within mankind, happiness within a group, and happiness within our family. But none of this would seem possible unless we find happiness within ourselves.
Finding happiness seems to be a bit daunting knowing that there are other parts of life that can clearly affect our happiness. Can one truly be happy living alone in a world filled with unexpected surprises?
This article will go over the exact reasons why finding happiness became so difficult for you.
How the Noise of Outsiders Hindered the Search of Finding Happiness
When was the first moment we began hearing this noise?
It was in the first nine months of your life where you seemingly spent time alone. A loneliness that is new and unknown to you because you had no example to compare the moment. Life at this point is beyond your control and only time will tell what the future will bring. You’re only able to connect to the outside world through the protection of your mother’s womb. Forced to accept the noise (voices that are outside of your reality) and gyrations that the current environment is providing. Only to realize later that you were never alone and that you were actually always dependent on your mother in the process of creating the so-called “You”.
What would it look like if you were actually alone?
If left alone to experience the world naturally during your formative years, you would view life with a sense of innocence and wonderment. A sense of cooperation with your environment would exist no matter what the current conditions are. Your curiosity of self in relationship to your environment is purely organic using only your own unadulterated perceptions and imagination to view your surroundings. Your observations would be unbridled and likened to a child’s smile. An inquisitive smile devoid of scrutiny. A smile that can dissolve all forms of loneliness and only bring happiness.
Is Finding Happiness possible amongst the noise?
During your formative years different types of noise surround you. Your parents, your teachers, friends and family are the noises that surround you. Together, they can actually impact your viewpoint and ultimately affect your future.
You begin to solely listen to their opinions (opinion is really a function of one’s viewpoint). The power over your own opinions begins to lessen as their influence deepens.
Why does the noise occlude our view of finding happiness?
For the first time, you may now ask yourself “is finding happiness possible?”. The only question then, is your opinion of yourself still purely of your own self-determinism or is it now of an other-determinism that is playing a bigger role in your development?
The company we keep can greatly influence our happiness. What becomes stressed is your ability to create during this time. But, the imposition of control over us on what you can and can’t do seems to be the main focus. When you introduce the start/stop mechanism (this is the mechanic of life that seems to monitor our coming and going throughout life) you experience a new phenomena. That something new is obedience. Obedience in the form of parents and those close to us influencing:
- Who your friends are
- What time you need to be home
- Your future
- Your personal appearance
- The lifestyle they feel is proper
- Your very existence
The advice of an educational system that has a strong focus on the grade versus the applicability of the subject being taught becomes a great influence on your journey into adulthood. Social media, the news, and today’s socio-political climate have also been impactful in possibly shaping how you view the world around. Spending time on the various platforms, you can get to know what is trending, but on a personal level you begin to lose yourself. As a result you have become so focused on the opinions of those so-called “Influencers”.
How does the noise suck us in?
A type of groupthink is encouraged versus allowing the individual to be just that, an individual that can create and at the same time individuate from one’s peers. The best person you can possibly be is limited because of the control imposed by your environment. Any attempt to find ways to be happy will be influenced by your surroundings. Your happiness can be viewed as a protest of the status quo. The challenge then, is do you succumb and be like all the rest, or do you stand up and move towards being who you really are and free yourself from the status quo.
How the Status Quo Has Imprisoned You
The status quo would seem to be a standard that was unleashed to you without any real explanation or even a description of what it is that you are emulating.
I recall in my earlier years in high school where a teacher identified a student as an excellent student. The class, in a robotic trance, just agrees that he is an excellent student because he gets A’s in all his classes. The only thing lacking was the explanation of what made him an excellent student.
Or have you heard the phrase, “He’s a really good parent.” The question then is, “What makes someone a good parent?”
Similarly, as a dental professional, I’ve often heard that a certain colleague is a “great Dentist”. As a result of never knowing what it means to be a “great Dentist” I was left wondering if I’m actually a great Dentist or not.
Another good one is addressing someone as being very successful. What does success equate to? Does being successful also equate to a person’s happiness? If so, why are there so many so-called successful people that are just so, so unhappy.
Let’s define these blanket statements as hidden standards.
The above hidden standards have been set in all aspects of your life. The main focus during your formative years has been to be obedient to the status quo, to be controlled by others. As a result of this, you simply just agree without question to these hidden standards without really finding out what they are. You are on auto-pilot.
Consequently, you have become just another unconscious product of your current society. Lacking self-determinism and the ability to create, which is native to all of mankind.
The day finding happiness became a problem.
Looking back into my childhood, I had a glimpse of what self-determinism and the ability to create is all about.
I can recall a day playing in the outdoors while a storm swept through the area. Running and sliding in the mud with friends. A feel good moment ran through my body as I overcame the howling of the wind and rain in search of the elusive magical sword of King Arthur’s court. It was when I returned to my golden castle that my self-determinism and ability to create was taken away from me. As I showed my magical sword, which was actually a stick, to my mother, a horror coursed through her body. A soldier of war I am, but to my mother, I was simply just a dirty little boy tracking mud into the house. A war prisoner interrogated and yelled at and thrown into the gallows, my room, for a weeks time with limited visitation.
A bit dramatic, but in this moment I lost a bit of my freedom. My freedom to imagine whatever I want in life is now blunted by the opinion of another.
What followed was even more surprising. Losing that freedom made me feel lost and unhappy. I now felt confused on who was really in control of my life, was it me or was it someone else. And I was getting the strangest feeling that this loss of control and freedom was only going to get worse.
And sure enough it did, that loss of freedom led to fear of the future, anxiety within myself and around others, and fear of never really being in control again.
I felt as though I was constantly seeking the admiration and acceptance from others and the road to finding happiness began to narrow.
Can There Ever Be a Road to Happiness?
Restoring freedom, restoring your own self-determinism, and restoring your ability to create seem to be important factors in restoring your road to happiness. Feelings of unhappiness is a bygone conclusion as your attitude toward life expands. Happiness ensues as your outlook widens. You are able to welcome spending time with a friend and the company you keep is now one of your own accord again. With your renewed sense of self-determinism, you are again able to be happy around the company of friends.
My greatest realization
As a dental professional with over 32 years of experience running a practice, I always thought that my ultimate goal was to make a lot of money and to gain the respect of my colleagues. Through the ups and downs of running a business, I ultimately discovered that my happiness has nothing to do with the money or the status. It has everything to do with how I view myself and the many lives I’ve impacted along the way. My greatest realization is reclaiming my voice again, and finally being able to listen to my own advice and not what someone else says. The control imposed over my lifetime now has a formidable challenger, the challenger is “Me”.
My real adventure is when I went on a journey to discover self and more importantly the truth about myself. The goal was finding “Truth”. The great thing about “Truth” is that it’s different for each of us. My happiness now has purpose and the fear of unhappiness wanes as more and more “Truth” reveals itself in my universe.
Truth, the Road to Happiness
Truth is belief in yourself. Truth is your own personal integrity. Personal integrity is knowing what you know, what you have observed. Truth does not align with the status quo but aligns with your observations. Your observations alone become the basis of your viewpoint. A viewpoint, once granted, individualizes you and solidifies your opinion on finding happiness.
Happiness is Life. You are as alive as you allow yourself to create yourself and your own universe. It’s really through your own determinism of how big a universe you want to create.
Why not start your story today and tell us what you think of today’s blog.
This article was all about finding happiness and the joy of living.
If you like this article check out:
https://beyondthedrill.com/how-to-take-fear-out-of-life-today/